Life Update

Well.. my life as text...

As life in the past.My life in the past has been with many cannons...not ditches...cannons. I have been through alot, yet not everything. I know that I don't know it all but I do know death very well. I do know how it feels when people leave you. I do know what it feels like to never fall for anyone, only people falling for you that you seem to grow old of. I know what it is to grow up with many rules and many "b/c your a gurl" regulations. I know what it is to have a brother that is into alcohol and drugs and he even went to jail. I know how it is to have a brother in the war...he's in Iraq right now. I know what it is to be busy...real real busy. I know what it is to work to pay for senior fees and for myself. I know what it is to apply for scholarships and hope for money. I know what it feels like to get used to hardly any sleep a night. I know what peer pressure is...and never giving in to it. And I esp. know what it feels like to have God break you, make you cry, and to be tested by God.

As life in the presentAs life now, I see what I've been through and I know I can help many. I am a true prayer warrior, eventhough I know not what to say all the time to him. I look at where my mother and my family have been and are, and I set high goals. I know I can achieve them. I go for what I want. I know what I can do and most the time I try to out do myself, but still I get to a goal. I look how I didn't have any money and I know I need it...so now I have two jobs. I look at who has been there, and of those who have left me...and I know Jesus Christ will always be there. As life now, I feel the peer pressure. I won't give in the alcoholism (I have seen what it can do...my father was one and so are my brothers). I won't do drugs. And sex will wait til marriage, eventhough most of my friends don't see it that way. But I still keep good values for myself. The most fit suceed. In my opinion I see that is true and as time is... looking at yesterday, today, and tomorrow....I will set my goals and will not give up. Life is success. Success isn't money either. For me, success is seeing hope in someone's eyes (knowing that I have helped them), reaching a goal of grades and sales for the week (Knowing I can keep it going and prove that double majoring is for me), and Seeing myself improve (improve in God's eyes....first patience, then compassion, now trust).

As life in the futureFor me the future is a long way. I see the future as five, ten, twenty years from now. Well where do I hope to be? Well, in all cases I hope to be a better Christian and stronger in my walk...the walk on the narrow path. But in five years, taking classes in animal phycology and mammology classes. I hope to be in Michigan...University of Michigan or Michigan State...both are great schools. I hope to be working on my masters in zoology and maybe getting degree in ecology or photography for wildlife. I hope to be in a serious relationship by then...maybe engaged...maybe not. In ten years, hopefully graduated from Michigan and working the field. I will be 29 so ..hopefully have a real relationship...engagement, marriage maybe a family. In twenty, I am not sure. I hope to married, have a family and be well on my way to owning a zoo. I hope to be in a great career and hopefully be a part time youth leader through out it all. I am not sure what the future holds but I hope to trust in the Lord more and more each day.

Well, this is just an update and a summary of my life in probably two pages.
Think about your life... Why are you like you are?What does your past reveal? What do you hope for the future?Think about the future but don't count on it being like planned. God is mysterious and will work and make your life as he planned.I wish you much luck and I pray for those who need a little more support. Leave me a message and I shall do the same for you, but for now, think about your life as text.

NiNeTeEn... what in the world happens now??

Well, as you know I am now 19 offically!
What happens now?
Well, my life...as it has been...is nothing special. I don't feel any different. Nineteen.. that just means that I am almost twenty but still a teen adult... lol. But I am looking forward to this next year.

My life has been full of canyons..if you've kept up with my Blogs you know that. But I feel that this year will be better.

I am looking forward to this summer:
My Brother, Zack, coming back from Iraq
Derek coming back in August-ish
Being a Youth Leader at a Church I don't know at all
Getting Closer to God through the whole youth leadership thing

I am excited about next school year here at Mars Hill.
New Faces to make friends with
New Classes
Being a sophomore and a junior in the same year

Well, I don't know much else to say, except my year's resolutions. LOL... well, I make more resolution for each new birth year, than every new Year Year. Funny, I know...but I am werid like that.

Resolutions:
-Better Relationship with God
-Better understanding of myself
-More Promotions at Cutco
-Hopefully more money...b/c I am a poor little freshman right now..lol
-More Friends
-Better Friendship with people
-Maybe start a "real" relationship with someone I actually like
-Work on my "E.Q." skills
-Inspire someone
-Be a better person to have people to rely on me
-Be a wonderful youth leader
-Internship in Texas at the Big Cat Reserve..maybe
-Focus more on my work
-Rely more on others, instead of the other way
-Learn to teach myself..that I am the most important person to me...
-Work on all the bible stuff.. get more JESUS books and shirts

Well, I wish you the best luck in "my new birth year" and I hope the best for myself.

Lord I love you. Thank you for all you give me...for the beautiful mountains in my sky, the wonderful sunsets, the great friends I have that I can count on, the intelligence you blessed me with and all physical abilities and features you bless me with, the awesome Christian people I can rely on, and of course my redemmer, savior, beginning and end, [and all else titles for Jesus Christ]. Thank you soo much for all this. Please bless me with another wonderful year. Dispite all the tiny little problems and rocks I've stubbled over following you, it has been wonderful and I would never have traded it for anything else. Please, be with Zack and Derek in Iraq. Please help Nathanuiel and Todd and Shane with their ministry. Continue to pull my mother close to you. And draw my lsot friends and family closer and closer to know who you are. Be with all my friends with physical problems, acedemic problems, atheltic problems, financial problems, personal problems and spirital problems. And continue to bless me by listening to me. I know you answer prayers. Thank you for that.

Cheers: To ANOTHER Year!

Music Ref and Inspiration right at this moment:
"...... I dont have look too far or too long a while
to make a lengthy list of all thing of all that I enjoy
it's an accumulating trinket in a treasure pile,
a moth, and rust, leaves and such; will soon enough distroy
i wanna leave a legacy
how will they remember me
did i choose to love
did i point to you enough to make mark on things
wanna leave an offering
child of mercy and grace, who blessed your name
on a polgentically and leave that kind of legacy
not well traveled
not wll read
not well to do but well breed
just wanna hear instead
well done .. good.. and faithful...worth hheaveeen
ooo yea yeah
how will they remember me
did i choose to love
did i point to you enough to make mark on things
wanna leave an offering
child of mercy and grace, who blessed your name
on a polgentically and leave that kind of legacy
i dont mind if you got something nice to say about me...."